Tracy,Here's my reply.
I was at your show last night with my girlfriend in the front rows.
You asked if we were married ... NO
You asked if we were dating ... I said a year and a half.
You asked if I planned to marry that woman ... Perhaps
This was totally wrong of you to ask that in public. This is not the place or time for me to reveal that information.
In that situation, there are only wrong answers.
You should never do that again.
I just found your email. I didn't want you to think that I was too afraid or ashamed to answer. I would say that I'm sorry you were offended but I'm not. Man up! Have a sense of humor. Over the years, I have said the same thing to hundreds of men who were sitting in the front row. They laughed. Why? Because it's a comedy club and I'm a comedian. If you took me seriously-- or if your girlfriend took me seriously-- then you are the ones with the problem. Next time I suggest you lie. I don't know you so I wouldn't know the difference. See how this works?I dashed it off quickly so, admittedly, it's not my best work. But I think I made my point. It'll be interesting to see if he replies. I'm guessing he'll be apoplectic shortly after reading the third sentence. The man seems to have issues.
But, he's right, there are only wrong answers in that situation. That's what makes it funny.