The New New New Stepford Wife

First, there was the robot dog and now there's a robot that will do it doggie style.

The world's first "sexbot" — a life-sized rubber doll named Roxxxy who can chat about football — has been unveiled.

It's about time. For years, lonely drunks at the end of the bar have been slurring, after 10 or 12 beers, "They can put a man on the moon, but they can't invent a sports-loving sex robot."

Finally, their alcohol-fueled prayers have been answered.

Roxxxy (only a slutty robot would have three X's in her name) has "impressive, flesh-like, synthetic skin" (during the winter months, so do I), "artificial intelligence (which does not mean she went to community college) and a "fake skeleton, letting her move like a REAL woman" (and I thought guys only liked fake boobs... silly me).

Prospective owners can pick from the five different "personalities" depending on their individual preference.

There is Wild Wendy - who is outgoing and adventurous, Frigid Farah - who is reserved and shy, Mature Martha and S&M Susan - available for more adventurous types.

Interesting, since the prospective owners only have one personality in real life-- Larry the Loser.

The cost for this chatty sexbot is in the $7,000-$9,000 range. I bet these guys have never spent that much money on a real woman-- you know, one without a fake skeleton-- during their entire pathetic life span.

Now, I understand a man's need for sexual release-- adult book stores, strippers and prostitutes all have their place in society (usually out by the airport)-- and I will even try not to judge a dude who mail orders an inflatable doll (although after having a balloon blow up in my face, I'm not sure why he would want one.)

But, when a robot tries to take the place of a human woman I have to draw the line.

Mr Hines, from TrueCompanion, said the doll could carry out simple conversations and was designed to "know exactly what you like".

He said: "Sex only goes so far, then you want to be able to talk to the person.

Might I suggest talking to a therapist instead.