Very few things in life leave me speechless: having my ass grabbed at a buffet table by a man who is not my husband, unexpectedly receiving an extravagant gift, Michelle Obama's entire wardrobe.
But now we can add the new Nicholas Cage movie "Hit Girl" to my list of jaw-dropping events.
The link to this trailer started circulating on Twitter by a Tweeter who actually thought it was funny. I quickly regained faith in humanity when I discovered many folks had the same reaction as me.
Funny? I know funny. Funny pays my rent, puts food on my table and causes me to lose most of my friends. Adding the theme song from the awful Saturday morning TV show "The Banana Splits" under images of a fouth-mouthed tween brutally killing adults is not funny. It's Hannah Barbaric!
This next clip actually made me sick to my stomach. My maternal instinct kicked into hyper drive and I swore my ovaries threw up in my mouth a little.
Kind of makes you long for the cartoon violence of "Home Alone." This is more like "Home Alone" if it was directed by Quentin Tarantino.
Oh sure, I'm all about free speech, quirky humor and pushing boundaries but this movie already is too much for me to handle and I've only seen three minutes of the flick.
I have an idea, why don't we just make a snuff film with Hannah Montana? If we include the Brady Bunch theme song in the soundtrack it'll be hilaaaaaaaaaaarious!