Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.
Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.

Mischa Barton
Rejected: Shops online at OverWoodstock.com.
Rejected: Woke up it was a Chelsea morning.
Lindsay Lohan
Rejected: PETA should throw blood on her just to add some color.
Rejected: Made from the hide of a gay bear.
Kim Kardashian
Accepted: No velvet animals were harmed in the making of this dress.
Rejected: "Our seats are wider on Kardashian Air."
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