Thursday, November 5, 2009

Rejected Us Weekly Fashion Police Jokes 27

I have been a Top Cop for Us Weekly's Fashion Police since 2001. (Why do men always call it "U.S." Weekly even when they see it spelled with a big "U" and a small "s"?)

Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.

Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.

Mischa Barton

Rejected: Shops online at

Rejected: Woke up it was a Chelsea morning.

Lindsay Lohan

Rejected: PETA should throw blood on her just to add some color.

Rejected: Made from the hide of a gay bear.

Kim Kardashian

Accepted: No velvet animals were harmed in the making of this dress.

Rejected: "Our seats are wider on Kardashian Air."

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