I Tweeted a few times during BlogWorld yet I had no desire to blog. It's like attending the Adult Video News Expo and not wanting sex.
The previous sentence is one that actually wound up on Twitter. I also posted "Am I the only one who thought I was going to BogWorld? Sure glad I kept the receipt for my hip waders." and "Went to the BlogWorld / Techset party at The Bank in the Bellagio. It was a middle-aged sausage fest."
Apparently, I didn't feel like Tweeting much either.
Next year, I'm going to submit a proposal for a seminar entitled "Take The Week Off. Nobody Cares Anyway." The floor will be slick with tears.
The best part about BlogWorld was making so many new friends... Wow, I couldn't even type that with a straight face! Oh, I tried to strike up conversations with folks in the ladies room, at the buffet table or at a "You Are Here" map but they would stare at me like I just called their mother a whore. Perhaps I should have texted them instead... Ur mom is a ho... LOL... ROLTF... LMAO.
We spent a good bit of our time boozing and laughing with Stephen Green aka Vodka Pundit and David Chung from PajamasTV. I had a lovely conversation with BlackFive's Matt Burden at The JET Party in the Mirage. We bonded with the Red Lasso folks who are from Philly and have a connection to our old employers at WYSP. Sarah Nitta, The All-American Mom was fun to sit next to during the journalism Keynote address. We spent most of out time giggling and trashing CNN's Don "I Look Like I Just Sucked On A" Lemon. I'd call him a pretentious boob but that would be an insult to boobs.
But everybody else was a steaming turd! I had more meaningful dialogue with the Robin Williams impersonator at the SceneIt bash than I did with most of my fellow bloggers. Folks, you're (or as many bloggers say "your") at a schmooze fest. So, schmooze already!
Brian McKim (aka hubby), me and half of Stephen Green at the JET Bar. Photo Blame: David Chung (after several Red Bulls and Vodka.)
Hubby spoke to Kevin Pollak briefly but, for the most part, we left the celebrities alone. I swear Hugh Hewitt was staring at Brian from stage but I think it's only because they wear the same glasses. From what we hear, Anthony Edwards was very nice while Adam Corrola was a bit surly. I think I only would have been shocked if the word on the cyberstreet was Adam Corrola was very nice and Anthony Edwards was a bit surly.
Jermaine Dupri likes to refer to himself in the third person which is something Traci Skene is going to do from now on. Traci Skene also learned that Mac rock star, Guy Kawasaki is a flaming dickhead. He makes CNN's Don Lemon look like a humble bumble. Kawasaki's hosting duties during the Tonight Show-formatted final keynote address would make Johnny Carson roll over in his grave. When Kawasaki said, "A talk show host is only as good as his guests" Traci Skene wanted to storm the stage. If he would like to hand Traci Skene a large bag of cash for hosting lessons, Traci Skene will gladly accept. Traci Skene would also like to make the same offer to Technorati's big cheese, Richard Jalichandra, who rocked back and forth so often during his presentation that Traci Skene thought she was on a cruise ship.
The Hilton Poolside BBQ party was the best because it was outside and attendees could actually talk without shouting over blaring techno music. Besides, who doesn't like to drink free booze while staring at a 20-story tall image of Barry Manilow? The SceneIt party was number two because they were pouring free blue vodka drinks and handing out swag bags. The other parties were fun but much much too loud for those of us over 25. Plus $14 for a shot of Maker's Mark is a bit too rich for most bloggers who, I might point out, don't get paid for blogging.
The Lavo shindig at the Pallazzo was downright scary. Too many people! Oh, the humanity! As I fled, I passed two bikini-clad woman making out in a Grecian tub. Just how do you interview for that job? Prior experience? "Well, from 2002-2007, I made out with other bikini-clad women in a Grecian tub over at Caesars." You're hired!
The first thing we did at BlogWorld, however, may have been the best which is kind of like the appetizer being tastier than dessert or foreplay being more erotic than the climax. As soon as we hit town on Thursday, we picked up our complimentary tickets to The Beatles LOVE.
Normally, we don't consider ourselves to be Cirque du Soleil kind of people, mostly because we despise French clowns. But, only a fool would turn down free admission to a show which normally costs upwards of $100.
We were blown away. Absolutely blown away.
The Beatles LOVE is Lori Anderson meets Zbigniew Rybczynski meets Twyla Tharp meets a big old pile of dope.
As a child, I was always frustrated by the three-ring circus because I couldn't watch all three acts at once. This is more like a 32-ring circus. In the first 15 minutes of the show, the pace is so frantic and the visuals so stunning that I whispered in my husband's ear, "I think I'm going to have a stroke."
Eventually, I relaxed and just gave myself over to the experience. In our household we despise the word "magical" almost as much as we despise French clowns, but it's the only word that fits. Magical. But don't do acid before you go. You'll die.
Tweets would indicate (the hashtag is #bwe09) that BlogWorld 2009 was a smashing success. While we're certainly glad we attended, we're still not sure if we'll attend the 2010 edition. It was fun, however. It is hoped that my voice will return to normal by the time I hit the stage on Friday.