Stop Me If You've Heard This

A priest and Roman Polanski walk into a Hollywood bar. The priest says to the bartender, "I just molested one of my alter boys." The bartender says, "Get out of my bar you creepy pervert before I call the police!" The priest leaves. Roman Polanski says to the bartender, "Thirty years ago, I drugged and sodomized a 13-year-old girl." The bartender says, "Man, I loved Chinatown!"

And that is the closest I've ever come to writing a street joke.