I have been a Top Cop for Us Weekly's Fashion Police since 2001. (Why do men always call it "U.S." Weekly even when they see it spelled with a big "U" and a small "s"?)
Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.
Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.
Accepted: Hey Cindy Lauper, there's a new girl who wants to have fun.
Rejected: Somebody needs to text her about her texture.
Accepted: The Miami Vice look never goes out of style. Oh, wait, yes it does.
Rejected: Winner of the Mylar Challenge.
Accepted: Behold the human Muppet!
Rejected: From K-Mart's Janis Joplin Collection.