I'm working at country club outside of Boston tomorrow night. We're flying so we'll only be gone for 24 hours.
I'm determined to try six new jokes on stage. I'll be lucky if I remember three of them.
Some of these bits I first wrote for this blog. Others I cranked out on Twitter. It'll be interesting to see if they work live.
1. Hubby said, "Were those breasts real?" I said, "I don't know, I was looking at her shoes."
2. Saw a chihuahua standing in the driver's seat of a large pick-up truck. Said to him, "You are overcompensating for something."
3. When my husband and I first starting dating, we once made-out for two hours on a park bench. Now, we can't even watch a two-hour movie without pausing for a bathroom break.
4. On vacation, you can have coconut rum and guava juice for breakfast. At home, it just means you have a drinking problem.
5. Caught our neighbors having sex on their balcony. I said, "I paid for an ocean view, not an ass view." There's only one moon I want to see and it's not hairy.
6. My mom is dead and I have no children so for me, Mother's Day is just another drinking holiday.
We'll see what happens. If they bomb, I'll just go back to telling the old stuff.