Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Wild Idol Adam Lambert

Adam Lambert is gay! Man, I haven't been this shocked since Clay Aiken came out of the closet. Before that I hadn't been so surprised since The Village People revealed their homosexual tendencies. (Yes, there was a time when the average American didn't know The Village People were gay. To this day, I still bust my brother's chops for innocently saying back in the early '80's, "I hear the construction worker is married to a very good looking woman.")

Do I care that Adam Lambert is gay? Of course not. The only people who should care that Adam Lambert is gay are his parents, his ex-girlfriends (almost all gay men have them) and Idol runner-up Kris Allen who bunked with Lambert during the competition.

From the Rolling Stone article:
When he moved into the show's Bel-Air mansion with the other finalists, he roomed with Kris Allen, who won the "Idol" title over Lambert last month.

"I was like, `Oh, (bleep), they put me with the cute guy,'" Lambert says. "Distracting! He's the one guy that I found attractive in the whole group on the show: nice, nonchalant, pretty and totally my type — except that he has a wife. I mean, he's open-minded and liberal, but he's definitely 100 percent straight."
Yeah, I bet that wasn't at all distracting for Allen.

There's no doubt that Lambert's sexual preference cost him the American Idol title but not because America is a land of homophobes as some might assume. He was runner-up because the overwhelming majority of Idol voters are little girls.

While little girls may have crushes on boys who look like little girls (for me, it was Leif Garrett), those same little girls want boys who like girls. It's that simple. The concept of "turning a guy" doesn't even creep into the female psyche until freshman year of college.

There was simply no way a gay man was going to get more ten-year-old-girl votes than Kris Allen, a guy who even Lambert describes as nice, nonchalant and pretty.

Lambert should drop the Freddie Mercury glam-rock facade, move to New York and take-over Broadway. If Constantine Maroulis can get a Tony nomination, so can he.


Traci Skene said...

god ur a coward (Have some sack and put your name next to your comment.)

Patsy said...

My thirty-something daughter didn't like Adam's eye makeup. I have never watched Idol and could care less.

And I like your comedy, Traci, even if I am old enough to be your mother.

Traci Skene said...

Speaking of old enough to be somebody's mother, check out this article in Newsweek.


My favorite line: "We became the thing that we normally despise: a cougar court that fell into a gentle loin lust with a man young enough to be our son. And a gay one, to boot."