Friday, June 26, 2009

Rejected Us Weekly Fashion Police Jokes 25

I have been a Top Cop for Us Weekly's Fashion Police since 2001. (Why do men always call it "U.S." Weekly even when they see it spelled with a big "U" and a small "s"?)

Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.

Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.

Drew Barrymore

Accepted: After she won the potato sack race, Drew refused to give the sack back.

Rejected: She got up from the picnic table and took the tablecloth with her.

Melissa Joan Hart

Accepted: The very first one-woman Disney parade!

Rejected: Hey, Little Miss Muffett! Where's your tuffett?

Carlos Santana

Rejected: He's the scariest ice cream man ever!

Rejected: Apparently, guitar heroes don't own mirrors.

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