I have been a Top Cop for Us Weekly's Fashion Police since 2001. (Why do men always call it "U.S." Weekly even when they see it spelled with a big "U" and a small "s"?)
Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.
Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.
Accepted: After she won the potato sack race, Drew refused to give the sack back.
Rejected: She got up from the picnic table and took the tablecloth with her.
Melissa Joan Hart
Accepted: The very first one-woman Disney parade!
Rejected: Hey, Little Miss Muffett! Where's your tuffett?
Rejected: He's the scariest ice cream man ever!
Rejected: Apparently, guitar heroes don't own mirrors.