For Tweet's Sake 2

Here are some of my recent Twitter postings.

Thinks "The Mariana Trench" would be a really bad nickname for a woman's Va-Jay-Jay.

Followed a guy with an "I'm speeding because I have to poop" bumper sticker just to see what he looked like.

Joke for Letterman: In England, the first daughters visited the Harry Potter set. Malia got knocked up under the invisible cloak.

Slutty flight attendant look? On Southwest they look like field hockey coaches. On DELTA they look like grandpa's 2nd wife.

Perhaps a bad dream is just my brain's way of telling me that I sleep too much.

Kicked butt in computer Scrabble: Scored 492 with 104 in one turn. Boo-ya! (Not a Scrabble word.)

I always feel good when I clean off my desk but not nearly as good as I had imagined.

"Buy dad a pair of eco-certified hemp shoes with soles made from reused car tires." I think he'd rather have Scotch.

Susan Boyle should change her name to Lance A. Boyle. (The image results for lancing boils are eerily similar to her 8x10.) Ouch!

Rented Paul Blart Mall Cop because Kevin James is the only person in the DVDExpress box who hubby (@brianmckim) has played poker with.

On vacation, you can have coconut rum and guava juice for breakfast. At home, it just means you have a drinking problem.