Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.
Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.

Kate Walsh
Accepted: Wardrobe provided by the L.A. Department of Corrections.
Rejected: Mesmerizing in its awfulness.
Kate Moss
Rejected: Xanadu? More like Xanadon't!
Rejected: It's so '80's. And by '80's I mean 2080.
Lady Gaga
Accepted: She likes to catch Frisbees with her head.
Rejected: A skirt that doubles as an ottoman.
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