I have been a Top Cop for Us Weekly's Fashion Police since 2001. (Why do men always call it "U.S." Weekly even when they see it spelled with a big "U" and a small "s"?)
Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.
Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.
Accepted: Wardrobe provided by the L.A. Department of Corrections.
Rejected: Mesmerizing in its awfulness.
Rejected: Xanadu? More like Xanadon't!
Rejected: It's so '80's. And by '80's I mean 2080.
Accepted: She likes to catch Frisbees with her head.
Rejected: A skirt that doubles as an ottoman.