Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Rejected Us Weekly Fashion Police Jokes 24

I have been a Top Cop for Us Weekly's Fashion Police since 2001. (Why do men always call it "U.S." Weekly even when they see it spelled with a big "U" and a small "s"?)

Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.

Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.

Kate Walsh

Accepted: Wardrobe provided by the L.A. Department of Corrections.

Rejected: Mesmerizing in its awfulness.

Kate Moss

Rejected: Xanadu? More like Xanadon't!

Rejected: It's so '80's. And by '80's I mean 2080.

Lady Gaga

Accepted: She likes to catch Frisbees with her head.

Rejected: A skirt that doubles as an ottoman.

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