ICE ICE Baby!

Since I'm the comic's wife this week instead of the comic, I've actually been able to see a few shows here in Vegas while my comic husband is working. (Comped, of course. What good is having connections if you don't use them?)

The other night I went to see "ICE," the production show which replaced SPLASH here at the Riviera. Hubby said, "Maybe they just turned down the heat."

On previous stays here at the Riv, we witnessed the all-Russian ice skating cast eating in the employee cafeteria. The amount of food these thin people consume in one sitting was mind boggling. They'd hunch over their plates like Russian bears (if bears used plates) and joylessly inhale substantial mounds of carbs. I was afraid to sit too close for fear of losing a limb.

After seeing the show, I can now understand why they needed so many calories. They do things on ice skates that people shouldn't be doing without ice skates.

For 90 minutes people were flying, juggling, flipping, balancing and cycling... on ice. The only thing they didn't do on ice was break out in a NHL-style brawl. At one point, one of the females, who was skating on stilts, fell, causing the audience to gasp. Seconds later she was back up, flying through the air. I would have cried and quit on the spot.

Back in the late '80's, after one of our shows at Catch A Rising Star in Bally's, we caught a cab downtown to see "Nudes On Ice" at the Union Plaza. To this day, it remains the greatest title for any Las Vegas revue. But, in reality, seeing naked women skate was more humorous than erotic. My husband loves female ice skaters but even he couldn't stop laughing. Plus we couldn't figure out why, if they were on ice, their nipples weren't hard.

Apparently, "ICE" toyed with the idea of adding a late night topless review. I'm glad they didn't. Watching a bare-breasted woman hit the floor like a sack of potatoes would be too disturbing for most folks.

Yesterday afternoon, we walked the length of the Vegas Strip to see Defending The Caveman. (Don't even ask if we paid.) On the way, we stopped by my favorite spot, The Conservatory at the Bellagio to see all the pretty flowers. Tomorrow I may go see the Riv's newest attraction, "Laser Floyd." We're calling it "Laser Floyd The Barber."