Friday, April 10, 2009

How Do You Say "Duh" In Chinese?

According to the Stereotype Handbook, Chinese people are supposed to be good at math. This story may prove otherwise.
BEIJING – China has 32 million more young men than young women — a gender gap that could lead to increasing crime — because parents facing strict birth limits abort female fetuses to have a son, a study released Friday said.

The imbalance is expected to steadily worsen among people of childbearing age over the next two decades and could trigger a slew of social problems, including a possible spike in crime by young men unable to find female partners, said an author of the report published in the BMJ, formerly known as the British Medical Journal.
A blind person could see that one coming!

As a former female fetus, I have always been appalled by gender selection. As a former female baby, the thought of infantcide sickens me. As a current middle-aged woman with dysfunctional reproductive organs, I have always loved the idea of being able to travel to China for some little girl take-out.

China doesn't deserve women. They need women but they don't want them. And you know if these lonely, horny men become violent, their primary target will be... women.

So, the only solution I can see is for the women of the world to get together to promote male homosexuality in the PRC.

Let's hire some female pilots to regularly air-drop millions of CD's of the Pet Shop Boys, complete DVD box sets of Wil & Grace and autographed 8 X 10's of a shirtless Rupert Everett. We could sew rainbow flags with little hammer and sickles in the middle. In a twist on India's old transistor radio in exchange for a vasectomy program, we could distribute cell phones with ABBA ringtones. (Yes, I consulted the Stereotype Handbook for my diabolical plan.)

Gay men would never hurt women. In fact, the mothers in China would be elevated to saint status. Eventually, the gay men would want to adopt the girl babies so they would have a good life as well.

Of course, this means that someday the 500 million Chinese women won't be able to find a mate. No problem. I'm sure there are plenty of Western men who would like nothing better than to have as Asian wife. Which means in only one generation, the country will be filled with half-Chinese men who may reject this ridiculous notion that women are inferior.

Perhaps I should notify the State Department. Or maybe I should just go to Panda Express for some orange chicken.


Bill Peschel said...

According to an earlier New York Times story (it's the one about the rise in kidnapping of boys), in Chinese society, brides move into the husband's family and provide for them in their old age.

Hence, boys are more desirable in a country where births are restricted.

Traci Skene said...

I understand why boys are more desirable but that cultural quirk hasn't really work out for them. The numbers speak for themselves.