Thursday, February 26, 2009

Skorting The Issue

Puma has unveiled it's newest line of Professional Women's Soccer Uniforms which includes a jersey, knee-high socks and an optional skirt. Did I just type skirt? Sadly, I did. I am just sick to my vagina.

I started playing soccer back in 1972. In the age before soccer moms and unisex soccer dads, girls who played the sport were as tough as the boys. Sure, I may have applied a touch of pre-game mascara but I refused to wear shin guards or a warm turtleneck under my uniform. We were soccer players... not girls who played soccer. We knew how to slide tackle and break legs. We weren't afraid to chest trap the ball just because our boobs were tender. Hell no! The pain made us play harder.

We would have head-butted anybody who dared suggest we run around the field wearing a skirt. We had thighs that could crush a man's skull (or in some cases, a woman's skull... not that there's anything wrong with that.) Skirts were for tennis and field hockey players... they still are. Hell, even most female golfers wear pants these days.

A skirt? What's next, spiked heels instead of spikes? Jerseys with the Hooters' logo? Fishnets instead of goalie nets?!

Obviously, organizers hope more folks will want to watch women play soccer if the players just looked a little cuter. Well, I hate to tell them, but in the good ol' US of A, folks don't want to watch men play soccer either.

So, in the interest of parity, Puma needs to introduce a new men's line with optional chaps. I can't wait to see David Beckham modeling the new fall collection.

No comments: