Foreplay And Seven Years Ago

Judith Warner in the NY Times columnized (my latest made-up word) on women who fantasize about President Obama. It seems for some American babes their new favorite sexual position is 44.

Many women — not too surprisingly — were dreaming about sex with the president. In these dreams, the women replaced Michelle with greater or lesser guilt or, in the case of a 62-year-old woman in North Florida, whose dream was reported to me by her daughter, found a fully above-board solution: “Michelle had divorced Barack because he had become ‘too much of a star.’ He then married my mother, who was oh so proud to be the first lady,” the daughter wrote me.

Interesting, because ever since President Oprahbama's inauguration, I've been having sexual fantasies as well... about Abe Lincoln.

Many nights I have awakened, drenched in sweat after dreaming about sex of the people, by the people and for the people. In my subconscious playlet, the tall bearded one orgasmically yells, "Hold on with a bulldog grip, and chew and choke as much as possible" before collapsing in my arms. Later he sits on the edge of my bed wearing only his hat and a smile, strokes my back lovingly and confesses that his wife Mary doesn't understand him.

After an equally passionate round two, he puts on his black overcoat and heads for the theater.

And yes, we always have safe sex. Although a child conceived in liberty does sound very patriotic.