Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Rejected Us Weekly Fashion Police Jokes 22

I have been a Top Cop for Us Weekly's Fashion Police since 2001. (Why do men always call it "U.S." Weekly even when they see it spelled with a big "U" and a small "s"?)

Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.

Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.

Janet Jackson

Rejected: "Welcome to Benihana."

Kelly Osbourne

Rejected: How can a sarong be so wrong?

Kim & Kourtney Kardashian

Accepted: Who could have guessed these girls were into geometry?

Courtney Love

Rejected: What Madonna would wear if she were homeless.

Eva Longoria Parker

Rejected: Perfect for dusting the red carpet.

Brad Pitt & Tilda Swinton

Rejected: Wrinkled is the new frayed.

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