Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.
Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.

Janet Jackson
Rejected: "Welcome to Benihana."
Kelly Osbourne
Rejected: How can a sarong be so wrong?
Kim & Kourtney Kardashian
Accepted: Who could have guessed these girls were into geometry?
Courtney Love
Rejected: What Madonna would wear if she were homeless.
Eva Longoria Parker
Rejected: Perfect for dusting the red carpet.
Brad Pitt & Tilda Swinton
Rejected: Wrinkled is the new frayed.
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