Thursday, December 11, 2008

Rejected Us Weekly Fashion Police Jokes 21

I have been a Top Cop for Us Weekly's Fashion Police since 2001. (Why do men always call it "U.S." Weekly even when they see it spelled with a big "U" and a small "s"?)

Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.

Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.

Maggie Gyllenhaal

Accepted: Does she take it to the dry cleaners or the pound?

Rejected: "It's not murder if you just take their tales."

Evan Rachel Wood

Accepted: The next night she wore her tinfoil pantsuit.

Rejected: Is she going to the Gothscars?

Charlie Sheen

Rejected: Wearing one and a half men's outfits.

Rejected: Hawaii 5-No.

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