Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.
Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Accepted: Does she take it to the dry cleaners or the pound?
Rejected: "It's not murder if you just take their tales."
Evan Rachel Wood
Accepted: The next night she wore her tinfoil pantsuit.
Rejected: Is she going to the Gothscars?
Charlie Sheen
Rejected: Wearing one and a half men's outfits.
Rejected: Hawaii 5-No.
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