Monday, December 29, 2008

Day Two: St. Thomas 12/21/08

My husband said that he wanted to walk up to the first person he saw in St. Thomas and ask, "Do you know where I can buy some jewelry?" just to watch their head explode. If jewelry stores were watering holes, every man, woman and child on this island would be an alcoholic.

At the port of Charlotte Amalie, you can hit three jewelry stores on the way to the jewelry store. We stopped at what appeared to be a non-jewelry store to buy some water only to be asked on our way out if we wanted to look at some earrings.

As far as jewelry is concerned, I own a sport watch from Walmart, a wedding ring from JC Penney and the holes in my once pierced ears closed up long ago. Walking me through the alleys of St. Thomas is like taking a vegetarian on a tour on New York's meat packing district.

But since I have a vagina, all the storekeepers were convinced that my genitalia needed a matching tennis bracelet. So we were harassed and harassed and harassed. I looked down at my ten dollar timepiece and decided it was time to head back to the ship.

As we were fleeing Mainstreet, we stopped to listen to some beautiful singing emanating from a local church. We were spotted by a well-dressed older man who motioned for us to come inside. I declined, fearing that he just wanted to sell me a diamond broach.

We continued on, following signs for the Butterfly Farm but, upon closer inspection, it looked more like the Butterfly Industrial Park.

Suddenly, it seemed like a perfect day to read by the pool.

The port at St. Thomas was the prettiest of all our stops so sitting back with an adult beverage and taking in the view was not a bad way to spend the day. At sunset, we purchased even more libations and said goodbye to the sun as our ship pulled away.

These ships are truly engineering marvels yet every few minutes I would wonder quietly why we weren't sinking. But I had to remind myself that man was sailing the seas long before he was driving or flying so, the Titanic notwithstanding, it may be the safest way to travel.

On night number one, we participated in the mandatory evacuation drill which made me feel a little less anxious about our journey. Apparently, the other comics don't often sail with a significant other because the second life jacket was covered with several inches of dust. Had it been a real emergency, I would have put in on without cleaning it first but since it was only a drill, we took the time to beat off the dirt. I was still covered with gray matter when it was over.

When we were close to open water, the giant 90, 000 ton vessel stopped and turned around so the bow would face the open water. In other words, the Serenade of the Seas was doing doughnuts in the Caribbean. Way way way cool.

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