Sunday, November 23, 2008

Rejected Us Weekly Fashion Police Jokes 20

I have been a Top Cop for Us Weekly's Fashion Police since 2001. (Why do men always call it "U.S." Weekly even when they see it spelled with a big "U" and a small "s"?)

Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.

Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.

Mena Suvari

Accepted: A cover-up that needs a cover-up?

Rejected: What a wood nymph would wear on a cruise.

Elle Macpherson

Accepted: What the Elle is that?!

Rejected: Apparently, she couldn't afford the entire tiger suit.

Viggo Mortensen

Rejected: What the Beatles wore when they performed in Hell.

Rejected: What Santa wore in the '60's.

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