Hide The Girls

I can't even imagine what it's like to grow up in the White House. As a child, it must seem magical. As a teenager, it must be incredibly annoying.

For the next four years, Sasha and Malia Obama will be followed everywhere by their new sullen "uncles" who wear dark suits and sunglasses and seem to have a fondness for talking into their wrists. For the next four year, every legitimate and trashy publication will want to publish their pictures and report on their daily activities. For the next four years, they will have to continue to behave themselves in public and learn not to publicly tell cute stories about how daddy makes noises with his butt or give out other potentially embarrassing details.

The fact that they couldn't be any cuter will just make things even harder. Let's face it, we're lookists in this country. We just love gazing upon adorable children. It will be impossible to keep these two out of the public eye.

I just hope everybody will be kind in their treatment of the Obama girls. In fact, I'd be happy if we didn't see them at all until 2012. Let them have their childhood. As weird as it will be, it will still be theirs to cherish.