And On The Eighth Day He Rested

Finally, something to talk about around the Thanksgiving dinner table.

KLTV 7 News: 7 straight days of sex. That was the challenge Pastor Ed Young issued to all of the married couples at his Grapevine church.

Come again?

The message caught some members of Fellowship Church by surprise, and its perking the ears of East Texans.

"Between a married man and a married woman...the more, the better."

Young says the challenge will help couples in his church focus on each other, reclaiming sex for married people.

Oh, it'll help married couples focus alright... on the clock and the calendar and the exit.

Seven straight days? Is he serious? For some couples, that's the equivalent of an entire year's worth of sex!

Minister Mark Edge says sex is in the Bible. So why not the church? In fact, he says last week's sermon was about Christian sexuality.

"God's Word is certainly not ashamed to talk about this. God's Word understands. God understands that it is a very important part of our lives....we really should have been talking about this all along," said Edge.

This concept does seem to dovetail nicely into my scathingly brilliant idea to produce Christian Porn. Let's face it, after night number four, most married couples who are taking the challenge will need some assistance.

My Christian Porn will have plot lines revolving around Biblical themes. For instance, while Lott is giving it to his wife doggy style, she looks back and turns into a pillar of salt. Talk about your second coming!

"There's so much about connection, emotion stuff...there's so much about value that's being passed back and forth. If a wife doesn't feel valued, or if a husband doesn't feel love or respected, hey, there's some issues that have to be dealt with," said Clark.

Or what if Wednesday is just a really great night for television?

I actually admire the pastor for coming up with such a kooky idea. It's a bit ambitious, but it's well-intentioned.

But he would have been better off issuing the Two-A-Day Challenge or the Long Holiday Weekend Challenge or the Doing It In The Guest Room Closet At Your Mother-In-Law's House Over Thanksgiving Challenge. Those are benchmarks easily met by most spouses.

Seven straight days? This is seriously going to cut into our running schedule.