Bidumb & Dumber

I really like the texture of Vice-Presidential nominee Joe Bidumb's stupidity. He's not a one-note dumb guy. His day-to-day gaffes are a virtual symphony of imbecility.

I thought he had outdone himself last week when he turned the Three R's on their collective head by declaring "J-o-b-s" is a three-letter word. This week, however, he gave the McCain/Palin ticket a beautifully wrapped, just-in-time for election day, straight from the horse's ass gift of monumental proportions.

"Mark my words," Biden told donors at a Seattle fund-raiser Sunday night.

"It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We're about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America.

"Watch. We're going to have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy.

"And he's going to need help . . . to stand with him. Because it's not going to be apparent initially; it's not going to be apparent that we're right."

So, according to Joe Biden, if Obama is elected President, then sometime between January and June we will either have another 9-11 or the modern-day equivalent of the Cuban Missile Crisis and it will not be clear that Obama is responding in the correct manner.

Great. I can't wait. Let the fun begin.

For 180 days, I will have a knot in my stomach each time I board a plane, drive across a bridge, take the subway or patronize a mall. For 180 days, I will wake up in fear just as I did in the post 9-11 days. For 180 days, I will curse those voters who believed it was more important to put a well-spoken intellectual in the White House rather than a ill-tempered former war hero.

Khrushchev thought Kennedy was a lightweight. I'm sure Al-Qaeda feels the same way about Obama.

Perhaps a President Obama will be able to stand up to our enemies. Colin Powell seems to think so. But let's not forget that Powell was once known as the "Pacifist General" and, according to the Bush-lied crowd, he was fooled into convincing the UN that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. Having General Powell advise President Obama will not make sleeping any easier.

I doubt that Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-il or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will want to mess with a President McCain-- or a gun-toting President Palin-- in the first place.