Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.
Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.

Eva Longoria Parker
Rejected: It's the color of chewed gum.
Rejected: Where's the rest of the choir?
Bridget Marquardt (The Girls Next Door)
Rejected: Hey, Lil' Bo Peep, I shudder to think where's your sheep.
Rejected: Now starring in The Crazy Girls Next Door.
Dustin Hoffman
Accepted: I see that Rain Man still shops at K-Mart.
Rejected: Sadly, the fruitcake shirt was a gift from his mother.
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