Friday, September 12, 2008

Rejected Us Weekly Fashion Police Jokes 16

I have been a Top Cop for Us Weekly's Fashion Police since 2001. (Why do men always call it "U.S." Weekly even when they see it spelled with a big "U" and a small "s"?)

Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.

Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.

Eva Longoria Parker

Rejected: It's the color of chewed gum.

Rejected: Where's the rest of the choir?

Bridget Marquardt (The Girls Next Door)

Rejected: Hey, Lil' Bo Peep, I shudder to think where's your sheep.

Rejected: Now starring in The Crazy Girls Next Door.

Dustin Hoffman

Accepted: I see that Rain Man still shops at K-Mart.

Rejected: Sadly, the fruitcake shirt was a gift from his mother.

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