Monday, July 21, 2008

Rejected Us Weekly Fashion Police Jokes 14

I have been a Top Cop for Us Weekly's Fashion Police since 2001. (Why do men always call it "U.S." Weekly even when they see it spelled with a big "U" and a small "s"?)

Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.

Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.

Portia de Rossi

Rejected: No wonder Ellen cries so much.

Rejected: Finally, a lipstick lesbian who actually wears lipstick!

Solange Knowles

Rejected: That hotel sure has some fancy towels.

Rejected: The top half doubles as a floatation device.

Hilary Duff

Accepted: Now working part-time as a Bunny Ranch realtor.

Rejected: Duffinately hideous.

Kendra Wilson

Accepted: Now starring in The Boys Next Door.

Rejected: You could fit all of Hef's girlfriends in those shorts.

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