I don't know how I'm supposed to emotionally recover from a failed pregnancy when my hormone levels are at THREATCON Charlie. While I have passed out of the "crying all the time" phase, I have entered the "wanting to cry all the time" phase. A slight improvement, but still somewhat debilitating.
In the past, I would have slide-tackled my husband if he even dared suggest that my irrational behavior might be hormone related, but now I'm comforted by his amateur diagnosis. If my weepiness is not at least 50 percent physical, then my only conclusion is that I'm having a nervous breakdown.
My husband strongly suggested that I accompany him to his gig in Massachusetts this past Friday night. On most trips we split the driving but he was reluctant to let me behind the wheel. I can't blame him. I am pretty distracted these days. I probably would have been driving on the wrong side of the road wondering why everybody else was driving the wrong way. (One of my favorite jokes is about the wife who calls her husband and says, "Honey be careful. I saw on the news there's a guy driving the wrong way on the interstate." He says, "One guy? There's more like a hundred.")
I stayed behind at the hotel while he did his show. I spent a much needed six hours lying on the bed, channel surfing with my remote control hand propped up on a pillow. Except for the 45 minutes I dozed off, I watched the Daytime Emmy Awards, Martha Stewart Living, Croatia VS. Turkey soccer game, What Not To Wear, The Producers, Numb3rs, Glenn Beck interviewing Jeff Foxworthy and Breakfast Around the World.
The next day, we stopped off to see our niece and my husband's late sister's widower. (To us, he's still our brother-in-law.) It was nice to be with family. I was in a much better mood on the way home than I was on the way up.
Unfortunately, that night, I still couldn't sleep. I have always suffered from stress-induced insomnia but this bout has been particularly bad. Often, I'm awake until 5 AM or later... which is why I'm blogging now at 2:30.
Hopefully, my hormones will decrease to THREATCON Bravo and I'll manage to get some much needed rest. I hope it happens soon. Right now, we're spending a fortune on tissues.
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2 comments:
I know only too well of that insomnia that keeps you up until 5. It's so Debilitating and you want SO much to sleep. I've gotten it a lot in the last 7 years due to 3 major surgeries, loss of friends and no longer talking to my family. So I have one thing to say, get some xanax. I had to take my LAST one in the middle of the night, about 2:45, because I knew I'd be heading towards 5 am.
And without sleep, you'll get worse and you're already worse. So sorry, Traci.
Last night I took nighttime cold medicine and managed to fall asleep at 1 AM. But then I woke up three hours later. So, I wound up awake at 5 anyway.
I'll talk to the doc about a prescription.
Thanks for your concern. I hope we both feel better soon.
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