Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.
Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.

Jodie Sweetin (From Full House)
Rejected: A full rack beats a full house.
Rejected: The Not-So-Little Mermaid.
Natalie Imbruglia
Rejected: It's an apron that doubles as body armor.
Rejected: It's N-aussie-ating.
Adrienne Bailon
Accepted: I have underwear longer than these shorts.
Rejected: From Cheetah-licious to Cheetah-laughable.
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