Sunday, April 6, 2008

Rejected Us Weekly Fashion Police Jokes 9

I have been a Top Cop for Us Weekly's Fashion Police since 2001. (Why do men always call it "U.S." Weekly even when they see it spelled with a big "U" and a small "s"?)

Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.

Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.


Anne Hathaway

Rejected: What a UPS driver should wear to the Oscars.

Molly Simms

Rejected: That dress must be a big hit with cats.

Rejected: When did she become a Fembot?

Rumor Willis

Accepted: Punk'd by her stylist?

Rejected: It's Hee-Hawful.

Heather Mills

Rejected: Perfect for selling real estate in 1976.

Rejected: She needs to go on Shopping With the Stars.

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