Monday, March 10, 2008

Rejected Us Weekly Fashion Police Jokes 8

I have been a Top Cop for Us Weekly's Fashion Police since 2001. (Why do men always call it "U.S." Weekly even when they see it spelled with a big "U" and a small "s"?)

Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.

Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.

Natalie Portman

Accepted:Star Wars VII: Revenge of the Scissors.

Rejected:Perfect if you're a cult leader.

Kim Cattrall:

Accepted:Let's hope there's not one of those in the front.

Rejected:Frederick's of Oldywood.

Nicole Kidman

Rejected:What a witch wears to her baby shower.

Rejected:The fetus is wearing a shirt that says "I'm with stupid!"

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