Sunday, February 24, 2008

World's Worst Dictators

Is the era of the great white dictator over? According to Parade Magazine, only one of the Top Ten Worst Dictators is a white guy. Islam Karimov of Uzbekistan stands alone as the only tyrant who uses sunscreen. The rest of the group is either "brown" or "yellow."

Are the editors of Parade Magazine racist or have white dudes dropped the despot ball? As a white person, I am quite embarrassed. Where are the Hitlers? Where are the Stalins? Where are all the modern day Mussolinis? My entire life I've been told that white men are the source of all evil, so where are all caucasian crackpots putting this theory into practice?

This is a disturbing trend. We can only hope that somewhere out there a little white boy is being raised to despise democracy, pity the proletariat and revel in revolution. Maybe if he's rejected by enough cute girls during his teenage years, he'll actually grow up to be the pale-skinned opressor the world sorely lacks.


Simon Jester said...

I seriously considered going to dictator school after college. But I mean, look at the clothing those guys wear! And the hair. Why is it dictators can't get a decent cut?

Traci Skene said...

Would you tell a ruthless tyrant that he needed a trim? I wouldn't.