Saturday, January 5, 2008

Rejected Us Weekly Fashion Police Jokes 4

I have been a Top Cop for Us Weekly's Fashion Police since 2001. (Why do men always call it "U.S." Weekly even when they see it spelled with a big "U" and a small "s"?)

Some weeks many of my jokes are published while other weeks I have to settle for just one or two. Below is a partial list of comments that never made it to the newsstand.

Note: The ones marked "Accepted" are my comments that got in. The ones marked "Rejected" are the ones that didn't.

Kate Walsh

Accepted: This little black dress makes a big statement.

Rejected: She makes men's privates practice.

Mischa Barton

Accepted: From The O.C. to Little House on the Prairie.

Rejected: It's Howdy Doody's sister, Dowdy Doody.

Kerry Washington

Rejected: Who is her desinger? Roy G Biv?

Rejected: What Liberace really wanted to wear.

Paris Hilton

Accepted: One of the creatures at the heavy-petting zoo?

Rejected: Mutual of Omaha's Girls Gone Wild Kingdom.

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Suzy said...

Dude, you got robbed. Yours are MUCH funnier.

Liz said...

They really go for mild humor, don't they. You're too clever for them.

Traci Skene said...

Well,they are a mainstream publication so you can't really blame them for choosing somewhat tame material. Plus they want to poke fun without actually offending the stars. It's not an easy job for either the editor or the writers. That's why we all submit several jokes per picture and hope that at least one of them strikes the right balance.