Friday, January 4, 2008

Cute Guy Syndrome

Iowa Caucus winner Barack Obama scored big with the ladies last night but not in a Bill Clinton kind of way. Obama got their votes. Votes, many say, should have gone to Hillary Clinton.

Since the Hillary campaign machine first fired up its engine, talking heads in newsrooms all across the country wrongly assumed that Democratic female voters would automatically support one of their own for President. I'm not sure what type of data they used in their analysis but, in reaching their conclusions, they obviously didn't consider "Cute Guy Syndrome."

"Cute Guy Syndrome" is an embarrassing phenomenon in which a seemingly rational woman will toss her BFF under a bus for a cute guy

This morning, Hillary has Greyhound tire tracks across her back.

The Obama campaign understands "Cute Guy Syndrome." The talk of Obama's "good looks" started long before he declared his candidacy. The "Obama is handsome" chants began during his book tour. This was no accident.

Convince enough women who are susceptible to hype that Barack is dreamy and you've got yourself the next President of the United States.

There's just one problem: Barack Obama isn't handsome. He's not even good-looking by politician standards. With a little special effects make-up, he could be a character on Battlestar Galactica.

Do not accuse me of being racist for criticizing an African-American male. If I was really racist, I would have given him a Joe Biden-esque compliment and said he was clean and articulate. Also, do not accuse me of having bad taste in men or, more specifically, bad taste in black men. Shemar Moore (pictured) is handsome. Blair Underwood is handsome. That idiot ex-husband of Halle Berry-- the one who cheated on her-- is handsome. Barack Obama looks like a Muppet.



Hillary Clinton was also bested by other cute guy, John Edwards. The Edwards campaign understands "Cute Guy Syndrome" as well. It's the only thing that explains his attention to grooming.



Male voters are usually not as vulnerable to the aesthetic hoopla. If they were, we would have had a Hooter's Girl as Vice-President long ago. At the very least, porn star Mary Carey would be Governor of California instead of Arnold Schwarzenneger.

For the record, I am not a supporter of Hillary Clinton. I would never give my vote to a fellow female merely because she's a fellow female. I would also never give my vote to a man just because he has a cute smile. I'm one of those weirdos who actually cares about the issues.

If it were up to me, all the candidates would have to wear bags over their heads until the big reveal on Election Night. Of course, we'd run the risk of having the Unknown Comic as leader of the free world, but that's a chance I'm willing to take.


Be a leader at humor-blogs.com.

7 comments:

Suzy said...

I will not vote for another man for president. I want to see a female president because NOT one President has EVER fulfilled the campaign promises they've made. If there was a female Republican running, I'd vote for her. Issues are, sadly, no longer what counts in elections.

And Obama is not a cute guy, I agree with you there. Shemar? Yes please. Halle's ex? Yes please.

Hillary in 08.

Anonymous said...

Craziness... this entry beeped up.

Anonymous said...

whoever you are, you're a fuck up.. My god you sit on your high horse and declare as fact who in the African American community is good looking or not just to "prove" that you're not a racist. It's become the fashion to say "bold" undermining remarks and put a side note that you're not racist. Well based on your worthless post I don't declare you're a racist or anything, but you are an idiot. Good looks is not a matter of fact. Being a white whore does not give you any credibility to judge by declaring as fact that millions of women are crazy to think that Obama is good looking. Stop being an egocentric bitch and have some empathy for people in other cultures (because for the record, lots of black women swoon over Obama's charisma and looks but just because your white ass doesn't understand that doesn't mean shit to the world). Fuck you.

Anonymous said...

you look like a transvestite and nobody disagrees

Traci Skene said...

Thanks Anonymous for the kind words...twice! I really enjoy your sense of humor.

Traci Skene said...

BTW,Anonymous, I can only assume that when you said I looked like a transvestite you meant that as an insult. From this I can only conclude that you are homophobic.

Perhaps you should "stop being an egocentric bitch and have some empathy for people" with a different sexual orientation.

Kimberly said...

I'm a white female artist and I think Obama is gorgeous. He is also authentically a statesman. Truth be known, I deeply admire each candidate. I wish they could share the presidency as a committee.